Saturday, October 24, 2009

Flashback Friday

So, I was in a "band."

It all started when I was a Senior in high school. I took a Humanities class with a teacher I so affectionately called Dr. J. (I can't even remember what his last name was, but he hated rap.. and I was a fan of Dr. Dre at the time. I thought I was pretty funny.) One of our assignments was a pretty large project in which we were required to spend a certain number of hours learning or completing a project in some sort of "art category" and teach/do a presentation about it in front of the class at the end of the semester. I chose to teach myself how to play the bass guitar.

I bought a electric bass and an amp at a pawn shop, researched some info online and at the Guitar Center, downloaded tablature of some of my favorite songs, and taught myself to play them. It was the most fun I've ever had completing a Humanities project. Anyway, my presentation went great, and even though I played songs I'm sure Dr. J wouldn't have listened to on his way home from work, he gave me an A. Sweet.

Fast forward another year. While at Snow College, my best friend, Jamie, and I decided to audition for the Ward Talent Show. She played the guitar, and I my bass. We wrote a song about Snow College called Gobble Nation:
I came down here to get an education,
but then I found out I'm in a gobble nation.
There's more poultry here than there are men.
Oh wait - there's none of them.
Site seeing Ephraim takes about 5 minutes,
but at least you can get cheap movie tickets.
When the students leave town the weekend bites,
unless of course it's True Badger night!

These city girls need to get out of town,
or else they're gonna drown in the..
Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble,
gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble,
gobble, gobble, gobble, nation!

Walmart is the hub of Ephraim's economy,
you can get everything except a lobotomy.
If you're an RM it really pays,
some of them propose after 16 days.
Freshmen students are cursed with a trait
of gaining 15 pounds of extra weight.
Sanpete County gets a whole lot of snow,
it really really makes your nose wanna blow.


The Manti temple is a popular place
to break up with a girl or take her on a date
Around here you can't get basic TV,
30 bucks a month and you dont get MTV
Our apartment carpet gets dirt on your socks,
might as well go with Ben and climb some rocks.
Our cell phones only get service half of the time,
and I can't think of another line that rhymes.


12th ward students are starting to hook up,
thanks to the dating service rigged by the bishop,
When we kicked a hole in our wall,
Brother Bradley came putty and all,
Some of you might think Brother Helms is a drama freak,
But if you take his class you'll learn a lot about the Greeks!

We rocked the stage. And we won first place.

And we had to perform in the Stake Talent Show. Just remember that we were living in Ephraim - where EVERYONE attends the activities because there is nothing better to do. Anyway, it was pretty sad because our song was written as an inside joke for everyone in our ward. Needless to say, the other students in the Stake didn't get it. At least we sang "Closing Time" by Semi Sonic as well.

After Snow, I started attending the local Single’s Ward. I mentioned that I played the bass guitar, and someone invited me to a “jam session.” We played one or two nights a week just for fun, and then some of the guys said we should form a band. Then Apple Kor was born.

We each had to write a song.. and since I'm only good at writing cheezy, rhyming, inside jokes, I just had them play Gobble Nation. Anyway, one of the guys made an unofficial CD (which is now kept under 24 hour surveillance). And another guy, Walter, scheduled a "gig" with the Spanish Branch. (He is from Honduras and attended both wards). They liked us so much we were asked to come back 3 different times, and we performed for our Singles Ward a bunch of times as well.

Some of the guys thought we were going to make it big... but I was just doing it for fun. I headed off to BYU-Nauvoo and the band was dissolved by the time I got back 3.5 months later. To be honest, not one of us could sing. And I could barely play. The music sounded kind of catchy, but I wouldn't pay to listen to the vocals. :)

So.. this is super embarrassing, but I'm laughing while listening to our CD now, and I have to post a few. Enjoy! (for a limited time only) Oh.. and I didn't know how else to put the audio on my blog, so I added a lame-o picture of an apple core to make it a video. Go ahead and mock me. I bet you can't say you played the bass in a band, even if the band wasn't that great...

Gobble Nation: (I promise it was better at the talent show.. and it didn't have a 20 minute guitar solo. LOL)

Robby's Got JNCOs: (I'm the backup singer too. Hehe.)

Man in a Can: (I played the funky sounding rhythm guitar for this one.)

"Walter's Song" (I can't tell WHAT he's singing... but I'm on bass):

Oh yeah, and we made a music video. LOL! I totally forgot, and Walter just posted it on facebook (kinda crazy.. I blogged and he posted on the same day).


  1. Tiff, you're such a rockstar. That was so funny!

  2. Love the pictures and the story. So true about sanpete county though. My sister felt the same way growing up there. lol.

  3. Oh, Tiff, that was so much fun! What good memories. It is so funny cuz just the other day Mike was telling people how I used to play guitar and he said "she even won first place in a talent show!" Ummm... I don't think he would be bragging about me if he had HEARD the song!
    Thanks for posting this. I am going to have Gobble Nation stuck in my head now :)

  4. So Gobble Nation is a fine fit for Utah County as well. I was laughing my head off, which I definitely needed today!

  5. That was hilarious!! It brought back memories of Ephraim that I had forgotten! Thanks for the good laugh! :)


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